Husband refuses to pay $8K for plastic surgery for his wife to fix scars from a botched procedure his mother-in-law got for her 10 years ago: 'This amount for cosmetic surgery doesn't sit well with me'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Apr 20, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

The million dollar question with plastic surgery is whether it actually does what it proports to do. It's supposed to make you look younger and better, but it's not uncommon for plastic surgery to make you look older and worse. You're "supposed" to get Botox as a preventative measure instead of as a last resort, but instead of maintaining the look of a young person, your frozen face make gives the illusion that you're older than you actually are: why else would you be so pumped? It's very easy to tell someone to accept how they look or to seek mental health solutions instead of silicon and microdermabrasion, but if they really want a procedure that is sold to them as "life changing" and they have the money to do it, the latter is going to be a lot more appealing because it provides a final end to the problem.

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  • The problem is, not all plastic surgery actually fulfills what it promises, and not everybody has the money to pay for it. The woman in this story desperately wants a skin procedure that will undo the damage of a botched procedure she had 10 years ago. The only problem is that her husband is highly skeptical. 

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10495553024
    via Frank Flores (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for hesitating to pay for my wife's $8k cosmetic surgery for her birthday?

    Today my wife asked if she could get cosmetic surgery to alleviate scarring on both her cheeks as a birthday gift. She told me it would cost about $8k out of pocket.
    via u/therestillishope
  • 03
    About 10 years ago, my wife's mother took her to a "skincare expert" who they later found out wasn't even licensed. As a result of a botched procedure, my wife now has significant scarring on both of her cheeks similar to very deep/severe acne scars. IMO this
    via u/therestillishope
  • 04
    S ※
    via David Trinks

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    scarring isn't something someone will cause someone to their head on the street, but if you look for a moment you definitely notice it. More importantly, this scarring has left my wife with trauma and she's gotten mean comments in the past over it. It has definitely caused her to feel a deep insecurity over how she looks.
    via u/therestillishope
  • 06
    With something deep rooted like this, I told my wife I think it's healthier to get therapy and I love the way she looks now. I don't even notice it TBH.
    via u/therestillishope
  • 07
    In that vein, I am not sure if getting an expensive procedure that is not guaranteed to make her look better for $8k is the panacea she's hoping it will be. Versus investing in her emotional health by talking about the
    via u/therestillishope
  • 08
    trauma she's experienced and working through her insecurities. I say this because I think my wife is beautiful and I wouldn't change a thing about her, but that doesn't seem to help.
    via u/therestillishope
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    Cheezburger Image 10495562496
    via Frank Flores (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    I've asked her point blank that if her mom was the one who took her to the original "skincare expert" over 10 years ago and her mom has indicated she'll do what it takes to make it right, why am I
    via u/therestillishope
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    the one who is now being asked to pay for cosmetic surgery after all this time? When I asked her this, she simply got upset with me and said "fine! You don't have to pay for it!" But that doesn't answer the question!
    via u/therestillishope
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    Here's more context for those that think I'm being a cheap over $8k: I have gotten my wife LASIK, advanced hearing aids (she has never needed hearing aids in her life but wanted even sharper hearing at certain pitches, so this was an UPGRADE that wasn't a medical necessity, adding this
    via u/therestillishope
  • 13
    edit here because the number of comments on this.), laser skin treatment ($2k), etc. I am willing to spend to take care of her, but within reason and when it has a demonstrated benefit. This amount for cosmetic surgery doesn't sit well with me for reasons I shared above.
    via u/therestillishope
  • 14
    We also have a mortgage, monthly expenses like everyone else, two young children, and I I am the sole breadwinner. There is that important bit of context too. I've thought of a few options.
    via u/therestillishope
  • 15
    1. Her mother can cover half or a majority, and I can cover the remainer. 2. I can cover half or majority, and her mom can cover the remainder. 3. I pay for the procedure in full.
    via u/therestillishope
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    4. I don't pay for it and advise her to seek therapy and, if she insists on getting the procedure, that her mother should cover the cost because she's the one who took her to the fake doctor in the first place AND has stated she'll do what it takes to make it right.
    via u/therestillishope
  • 17
    So AITA for giving pause? If so, which option above would make me NTA? Is there an option I'm not considering?
    via u/therestillishope
  • 18
    StAlvis INFO a "skincare expert" who they later found out wasn't even licensed. And she didn't sue to recover damages because...?
    via u/StAlvis
  • 19
    therestillishope OP I asked her this and she said it didn't occur to them at the time that was an option. I still don't know what to say.
    via u/therestillishope
  • 20
    Harmonia PASB She should be doing Fraxel laser for the ice pick scarring which doesn't cost $8k. This sounds really fishy OP. ~ an esthetician
    via u/Harmonia_PASB
  • 21
    seafoamspider I'm into plastic surgery and never heard of a procedure for scars that costs $8k. Either your wife is getting scammed or she's scamming you for $8k. Ask her what the name of the procedure and share it on here so we can see if it's a real procedure.
    via u/seafoamspider
  • 22
    therestillishope OP it's called a "mini lift" and she's tried laser for years. she told me that different types of scars require different treatments, and this one from what she told me is pulling the skin back but not a full face lift as the muscle level. The reason previous laser didn't work was due to the severity and type of scarring? This is what I'm told.
    via u/therestillishope
  • 23
    sambeano That sounds kinda odd. Her scarring is a skin texture issue, which is usually fixed with lasers (which you've said she's tried) and chemicals which would strip the outer layers of the skin, to varying degrees depending on the chemical used. A lift of any kind addresses skin laxity. So when fillers cannot be used to plump up and add volume anymore to "lift" skin, that's when lifting is used as an option to pull skin and/or tissue up. It doesn't address how the skin's texture looks.
    via u/sambeano
  • 24
    seafoamspider • 10h ago A mini lift is a facelift and has absolutely nothing to do with scar minimization. So as another commenter said, she may be just trying to get 8k to get a facelift and trying to use your sympathy about her mental distress about her scars to get the 8k from you.
    via u/seafoamspider
  • 25
    Prii99 Is she referring to Micro Needling? I am going through the same treatment - Micro Needling with Radio Frequency (to lift the skin, which reduces perception of the depth of the scars) + Fractional CO2 Laser (which reduces the width of the scars) It definitely doesn't cost that much, lol. Although I'm living in a different country, I don't think the difference between both costs should be THAT significant.
    via u/Prii99

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